Illuminating Dark Places: Exploring Your Shadow Through Year-End Retrospective
In my meditation practice this morning, I found myself contemplating the balance between looking back at the past year and looking forward. This time after the solstice and before the beginning of the new year is a bardo; a liminal period with potent opportunities to look forward and backward at the same time. It's a natural time for looking at the shadow aspects of oneself. The shadow is often associated with the unconscious, and transitional times like the winter solstice and New Year's are times when the unconscious can be more visible and accessible. This makes it a particularly good time to bring awareness to the shadow and peer into the unconscious aspects of one's inner world.
Here is a retrospective exercise for exploring the shadow at year's end.
Find a quiet, natural place to sit or lie down where you can be alone and undisturbed for a while.
Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths if that feels comfortable, or do whatever allows you to settle into your surroundings.
Now let your breathing be natural, and bring to mind any challenges or difficulties you faced during the past year. These might be personal, professional, or interpersonal challenges.
As you think about each challenge, try to identify any aspects of yourself that you may have pushed away or denied in response to the challenge. These might be challenging or overwhelming emotions, thoughts, or behaviors that you find difficult to accept or acknowledge. These are often referred to as the "shadow" aspects of the self.
Take some time to explore these shadow aspects, allowing yourself to feel and acknowledge their presence. What emotions are present? What physical sensations are present? What thoughts are present?
As you contemplate and explore this shadow further, try to see what wisdom or insight it has to offer. What can you learn from these aspects of yourself that might help you navigate future challenges more effectively?
When you are ready, slowly bring your attention back to your breath and spend a few moments grounding yourself.
For the final minute, let your mind rest, with nothing to do whatsoever.
When it feels complete, let your eyes open.
This exercise can help you to encounter, engage, and eventually begin to integrate your shadow aspects, which can be an important step in personal growth and transformation. This can also provide a valuable way to reflect on the past year and identify areas where you may have struggled—or struggled to accept parts of yourself.
Good luck with your integration.